


Was It Really Worth It?

by Charlie_Bucket



Series: A Disease Called Titan. [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 3100 words, Angst, Angst and Feels, Arguing, Based on a Tumblr Post, Eren owns a bookstore, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Blame Tumblr, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Sorry, Implied Levi/Erwin Smith, Late Night Writing, Levi cries, Levi is a teacher, Literally six pages, M/M, Minor Armin Arlert/Erwin Smith, They argue over something that could be resolved, Who is the victim?, argument, ffs, kind of sad, so easily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 03:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5319314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie_Bucket/pseuds/Charlie_Bucket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the Tumblr Post: Levi and Eren get into an argument and harsh things were said. Levi stalks off to their room. He doesn’t bother saying good night to Eren because they’re both really angry with each other. Levi cries himself to sleep, he hates hurting Eren. Eren feels bad and goes to check on him when he’s asleep and sees the tear marks down his cheeks. Eren feels guilty so he hugs Levi the whole night. Levi wakes up because it’s usually so cold, why it is so warm, and finds Eren curled up against him and smiles. Everything’s okay again.</p>
<p>I kinda tweaked the prompt a bit, but it's still full of angst and fluff! Sorry for the sucky summary, there is a longer one inside but it was too long to put here...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Was It Really Worth It?

It had been a long, long week. Levi's classes had been running late as more and more students demanded extra help before their final exams. That paired with the dismal state that his boyfriend left the house in when he returned home had annoyed him to breaking point. Eren's work was literally next door to their house, running a small but cosy bookstore with his best friend Armin and his sister Mikasa. This meant that he was always the first one to arrive home, kick his shoes off, drop his jacket and bag and leave them wherever they fell and then proceed to make at least three cups of tea, using different mugs each time and never cleaning the old ones. Now that, Levi could tolerate. Eren worked hard and got great results from his bookstore, so it was understandable that the first thing he wouldn't want to do upon returning home was clean.

Now Levi could excuse that, because Eren put up with a lot of his bad traits. His shitty attitude and bluntness would have turned many people away by now. Levi could have excused Eren, if that had been all there was to excuse.

...X...

Levi is exhausted when he finally catches sight of their modest home. It’s pouring down outside, rain lashing against him as his numb fingers try to find the right key. Finally, after cursing the stupid timing of car M.O.T.'s and swearing a blue streak he manages to successfully find safety within the warm walls of his home.

And the first sight he is greeted with is Eren's shoes, bag and jacket heaped in a pile creating a puddle that effectively drenches the carpet. And upon closer inspection Levi notices that Eren has stuffed his soaked socks into his shoes.

"Shitty brat has enough time to get rid of his wet clothes but not enough time to fucking clean it up?" Levi mutters, before heaving a weary sigh. ‘Maybe his clothes were also soaked and the first thing on his mind was changing them. Who knows, maybe he’s only just in...’ and with that thought in mind he sets about hanging his and Eren’s jackets up and clearing away his mess. Though he refuses to go anywhere near his socks.

He forgoes travelling into the living room and heads straight for the kitchen, hoping to make something warm to drink to heat up his still numb fingers. He smiles at the thought of drinking a mug of steaming hot tea and sets about turning on the kettle. ‘Tea bags, milk, sugar... now where the hell did all the mugs go?’ he thinks, before heading over to the sink and instantly grimacing. The sink is covered in dirty dishes, and wedged under a bowl that once held Eren’s cereal (and Levi can tell because there is a small pool of chocolate-y milk resting in the bottom of the bowl, and he can’t stand the sugar stuffed chocolate cereal Eren insists on buying.) And a plate that still has a few bits of rice stuck to it, Levi’s favourite mug lies, a layer of grime covering it with a chip completely cracking it down one side that wasn’t there when he left his mug- _cleaned and un-fucking-chipped-_ on the countertop this morning. And now Levi is angry. His shitty little _brat_ of a boyfriend must have made something in it and then when he was finished just thrown it into the sink, with no regards as to where it landed.

Levi grits his teeth. Angrily flicking the kettle off (seeing as the only mug in the whole fucking _kitchen_ was useless) Levi storms into the living room. And he comes face to face with Eren, feet kicked up on the couch, Xbox controller in hand, headset on, chatting away while playing some obsolete game. Around him, countless mugs lie, some of them with tea still fucking in them, as if Eren had been so distracted by his game that he let the tea go cold and then just made a new cup. And now, now Levi has fucking _had it._

Eren finally takes notice of him, shooting Levi his usual million-watt smile.

“Sorry man, I gotta go, we’ll finish this Monday!” He says into the headset before pulling it off his head and hitting pause on his game. Completely oblivious to his impending doom, he turns around to Levi still grinning and opens his mouth.

“Hey, I’m so glad you’re-“ He starts but Levi quickly cuts him off.

“Is it too much to fucking ask that you don’t treat this house like your own personal fucking _pig sty?_ ” He grinds out, anger flashing in his eyes. “Jesus Christ Eren, this is just **_typical you!_** ”

Eren’s grin slowly falls from his face, a stubborn, fiery look taking over his eyes. “What the hell do you mean ‘typical me’?” He demands.

“Of course you wouldn’t notice! Of course it would go completely over your head! I’m talking about the complete **_mess_** that you _always_ leave in your wake. You’re like a child that CONSTANTLY needs an adult following behind them, cleaning up after them.” Levi snaps.

“I was busy, Levi. Something you should understand, what with all those ‘extra hours’ you and Erwin need up at the University! I’m sure a lot of ‘extra practice’ gets done there!” Eren yells, partially standing up from his slouched position on the couch.

“Is that what you think? After a year and a half, your entire trust in me amounts to ‘Huh, Levi is spending longer at the University in the weeks leading up to finals; he _must_ be fucking his best friend’. This, this kind of fucking stupid shit that comes out your mouth is why you’re nothing but a _SHITTY BRAT!_ ” He retorts, hurt coursing through him. Eren had thought he’d been cheating. Eren had thought he’d been cheating with one of his oldest friends currently engaged to Armin Arlert. Eren thought so low of him... that he would accuse him of sleeping with a taken man. It felt like a blow to the gut. Tears prickled at the back of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He wasn’t going to walk away from this fight.

“ ** _I’M_** the shitty brat? I don’t know if you’ve recently heard yourself, _love_. “He draws out the endearment sarcastically, twisting it into a sneer “But I know you’re the closest to the title brat than I’ll ever be. But add _spoiled, self entitled, crude, unfeeling ASSHAT_ to the title and you’re set.” Eren says this with a false lilt to his voice, an angry laugh forcing its way out at the end of his rant. But in his heart he knows this could have gone better, deep down he _knows_ that Levi would never cheat. That once you find your way into Levi’s heart, it’s very unlikely he’d ever let you leave. And now Eren had fucked that up. He’d accused the man he loved of sleeping around, called a list of below the belt insults and he hasn’t even been home for five minutes. Eren feels like shit. But then he remembers that it was Levi that had walked in looking for a fight, and so his stubborn side kicks in once again and he stands his ground.

Levi feels like he can’t breathe properly. His eyes burn more than they had previously and his hands shake as he clenches and unclenches them. Spoiled? Self entitled? Did he not give Eren his everything? Was he not forthcoming with everything he had? He tried to match Eren’s generosity, tried to replace countless delicious homemade dinners with his favourite coffee from Starbucks during a slow day at the bookstore. Tried to replace many days with Eren doting on him, kissing his cheek and gripping his hand, with nights huddling Eren close in his arms and soft whispers of ‘I love you’. Crude? Unfeeling? Did Eren not know that Levi loved him with everything he had? Yes he was crude, and came across as unfeeling, but... No. Levi wasn’t going to dwell over these insults. Yes, they hurt. But that was just how he was. He’d been blunt and stubborn and downright mean when he’d first met Eren and if he thought he was going to change, well, he was sorely mistaken.

Resolve strengthened, Levi glares at Eren, looking him directly in the eyes. “If it bothers you so much Eren, then leave.” Eren’s eyes widen, his face morphing into that of a deer caught in the headlights, but Levi can’t even find any joy in catching him off guard only a tired sort of defeat. “Answer this though. Was it really worth leaving your wet clothes in the hallway to soak the carpet? Was it worth it to use every single fucking mug in the house but break mine? Was it worth disregarding the mess around you to sit on your fucking videogame? Fuck, Eren.” He hisses. “Was it too much to ask?”

 “If you would let me explain before you barge in demanding a fight, this whole shitty fight could have been avoided. But no. That’s far too simple.” Eren replies.

“Forget it. I’m going to bed.” And with that Levi turns on his heel and begins to head upstairs. As he hits the top landing, his careful resolve breaks and tears begin to leak out of his eyes. “Fuck” he whispers, harshly wiping at his eyes. He knows he is entirely at fault. If he hadn’t stormed in looking for a fight then maybe they could have talked it over, come to a general understanding, maybe ordered in dinner that night and watched one of those cheesy fucking action movies Eren loves. But then Levi remembers... ‘If it bothers you so much Eren, then leave.’ And as he closes the door to the bedroom behind him, he sinks to the floor dissolving into tears. Would Eren stay after that? Who in their right mind would ever want to stay with someone like Levi? He is crude, unfeeling, unloving, harsh and unforgiving like the biting rain that is pounding down outside. Eren could do so much better than him. Eren would do so much better. He would leave Levi and his shitty attitude and borderline OCD cleaning habits and he would find a guy who would take care of him, someone that would give him the love he deserved. And the thought of losing Eren hurts him more than any physical injury ever could, the sudden likeliness of Eren packing up his things _right now_ and walking out of Levi’s life makes his heart jump to his throat at the same time it plummets to the pit of his stomach and draws out gut wrenching sobs, burying his head into his arms. He’s pushed away the single most important thing to him.

But as long as Eren was happy, even if it was without Levi.

...X...

Eren sits, paralysed on the couch, listening to Levi’s fading footsteps.

Levi wants him gone.

What has he _done_?

How could he even begin to explain the series of events leading up to this cataclysmic disaster? How the hell would he even go about apologising to his boyfriend for accusing him of _cheating?_ How would he apologise for all the downright nasty shit he called him? If only he hadn’t been so quick to anger, if he’d held his tongue and let Levi explain then maybe, just maybe they could have talked it through. And yeah, maybe they would have exchanged a few jabs at each other, but it would have smoothed out like their other arguments and maybe he could have cooked something quick and salvaged the night with one of those downright awful horror movies that Levi likes to laugh at.

‘If it bothers you so much Eren, then leave.’ Levi’s words hit him like a freight train. It doesn’t bother him, it has never bothered him. He _loves_ Levi. But what if it’s Levi’s way of asking him to leave? ‘Levi is probably sick and tired of the slovenly way I live’ Eren thinks, a few tears escaping his eyes at the thought. ‘He wants me to leave so that he can find someone better, someone smarter than me, someone that can clean up behind him, someone that thinks before he speaks. A man that doesn’t act like a shitty _brat._ A man. Not a kid.

Eren hears the click of the bedroom door closing and at first the silence pierces the space around him. But then...

Oh god, Levi is crying. Levi is crying and it’s all Eren’s fault. He’s reduced the strongest man he knows to _tears._ And he feels like the lowliest piece of scum in all of planet earth.

Eren stands as if his mind is on auto-pilot and begins to gather the mugs littered around him, balancing them on top of each other and taking them into the kitchen. He begins to clean the dishes left in the sink, pausing as he comes across Levi’s favourite mug which is in fact chipped. He sighs and sets it apart from the other dishes before resuming the task at hand until finally all of them are in their rightful places. He then grabs a towel and takes it through to the hallway where he left his shit in a messy pile. The carpet is still damp so he throws the towel down on the spot and steps on it a bit before picking up his shoes and fishing the socks out of them, nose wrinkling. He heads back in to the kitchen and throws the socks into the washing machine.

He stops for a moment, ears straining to hear Levi. And although his cries have faded slightly, it still hurts that Levi is still crying. Eren’s eyes shift from the roof to the cracked mug and he wonders why he is still even here. Why he’s still holding on to that thin string of hope that Levi wants him here.

_‘I told the teacher that I wanted to open my own bookstore one day,’ ten year old Eren told his Mum as she lay in a hospital bed, fighting a disease the doctors had dubbed Titan ‘she laughed and said that it was a silly dream.’ His Mum frowned at that, angry at the teacher’s attitude toward a small child. But she pushes it aside._

_‘Eren, I want to tell you something very important. No matter what, you fight for what you love. If you love the thought of owning your very own bookstore, then you should pursue that. If you fall in love with a girl’ Ten year old Eren makes a disgusted face at this and his mother chuckles before continuing ‘or a boy of course, you should never give up on that love.’ His Mum gives a weak smile, and coughs ‘Eren, no matter how bad things may seem, no matter how low you feel. Even if the world outside seems grey and all you want to do is quit. Always try again.’_

Eren lets a small smile take over his face. He wouldn’t leave; because that would mean giving up on the single most amazing man that he will ever love. It meant accepting defeat and turning away and letting someone else have Levi. No. He would fix this.

...X...

It’s quiet downstairs. Levi had briefly heard Eren moving around, had heard the sound of him picking things up, shifting from room to room and now... nothing.

‘He’s gone.’ He thinks, and there are no tears to accompany the thought. All he can think of his how empty he feels. He hauls himself off the floor. Ass numb and legs buzzing with pins and needles he wanders over to their- his bed. And pulls his covers over himself and lies on his side of the bed and he tries not to think about how cold it is without someone to hold on to. How uncomfortable it is not to have someone’s legs to wrap around your own. How empty his arms feel.

Not having Eren lying in his arms.

And as exhaustion quickly overtakes Levi, his last thought is ‘I don’t think I can recover from this’.

...X...

Eren slowly pads upstairs, a thousand and one different ways to explain himself to Levi, but not one feeling right. He finally reaches the bedroom door and takes a fortifying breath before opening the door.

Levi is bundled up on the bed, the duvet partially covering his face. But Eren can see enough of his face to see that he looks conflicted. His eyebrows are drawn close together, mouth pulled down in a frown. And though many people would downright swear that Levi always looks like this, Eren knows differently. He knows about the soft smiles, the small laughs that light up his entire face. As he steps closer to the bed he notices that Levi is slightly shaking, as if cold.

And then Eren sees the tear tracks on Levi’s face.

And he instantly wants to leave again. He put these tears there. He made Levi _cry_.

But Levi shifts in his sleep, reaching out into the space that Eren would usually occupy. And Levi lets out a small mumble, so faint Eren almost doesn’t pick up on it.

“Eren, it’s cold.”

And that’s all it takes. In record speed Eren jumps into his side of _their_ bed and grabs Levi’s hand.

“I’ll warm you up.” He replies and Levi instantly wraps himself around Eren.

...X...

When Levi wakes up, he’s confused. His head is pounding, but he’s warm. It was so cold when he first ambled into bed. But as he becomes more aware of his surroundings, he notices that Eren is in his arms sleeping peacefully. An overwhelming sense of relief and happiness and worry and so many emotions come crashing down on him all at the same time and he wonders if this is just a dream. But Eren mumbles and twists slightly in his sleep and Levi lets out a slightly choked sigh, burying his nose in Eren’s fluffy hair.

“I love you. I’m so sorry you ever doubted this. I love _you,_ you brat.”

And just as Levi is about to close his eyes and return to sleep, he hears Eren’s reply.

“I love you more. I said it in the heat of the moment and I’m so, so sorry. My heart belongs to _you and only you_ Levi. I’ll never doubt you, I love you too.”

And they knew that everything would be okay now.

...X...

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked! I will be including a second chapter that will explain the events leading up to the disastrous fight and the apologies and talks that ensue once they've both properly woken up. Thank you so much for reading! Please point out any typos because I wrote this at a very late hour. Also point out weird tense jumps!


End file.
